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062: In Which It's Time to Blow This Scene

Okay, so I get the situation and all; a bunch of us are suddenly younger and have had weird, dumb stuff done to our memories, stuck in New York thousands of years in the future, blah blah blah blah blah. But seriously, though, trick or treating? Is so lame. There has to be a decent party that doesn't card[deleted] somewhere nearby tonight, right? Come on, there's got to be at least one cool person in this suckhole.

061: In Which Screw Flashbacks, Dammit

Okay, when my mom finds out about this? She is gonna have your asses. Just saying.

060: In Which FML

So. Five days in a club playing obnoxious techno music with occasional interludes of that Ke$ha song on repeat for an hour straight.

Someone is getting stabbed over this.
So Cronus is the Apartment Manager. And nobody has taken initiative on doing something about him. Disappointing to say the least, really. I'm in L.A. holed up in my hotel room[deleted] to cover the VMAs at present, and if nobody's grown a pair by then I'll have to do it myself.

Additionally, I know I'm becoming kind of a big deal as far as entertainment journalism goes, but I really didn't think I merited stalkers of all things. Seriously, I am not letting some creeps ruin a trip to the West Coast for me.
[... so basically, for as long as Eris is irresistibly gorgeous she's probably going to keep doing video posts. She's lounging in her own apartment this time around, in what looks like a very pricey new robe. Yeah, living the high life for the last couple days has left her a little blissed out and a bit loftier in tone than she often is.]

This is just the loveliest week. Cronus, how did you know this was one of my favorites out of all your little games? Cheers. Anyway, for those of you on the same floor... floors?... that I'm on and are so insufferably "oh no, people are attracted to me!", some helpful tricks on crowd control so you're not completely swamped.

Number one; make an example out of one of them before it's too late. They're completely infatuated with you. They won't realize they're about to be hurt until it's too late. Unfortunately, while it's fairly satisfying on its own and it might work on small groups or just one stalker, you're going to run into people who either won't be deterred by it, or it will just turn them on even further. Moreover, you'll get tired and more susceptible to being overtaken by the mob.

Number two; turn the mob against each other. Really. They're hanging off your every word, so if you, say, suggest that they might have a better chance with you if there's less competition they'll go at each others' throats in a heartbeat. Really the most fun option, but I'm biased. It's not going to work if you can't sell it, though, and frankly I'm not sure how many of you can.

So, finally, option number three; hire bodyguards. Obviously, it will cost you, but it keeps the mob off your back and allows you to enjoy the perks of the situation. For example, aside from my dear, dear handpicked bodyguards, both of whom I chose because they remind me a bit of Ares -- miss you, sweetie, get down here ASAP -- I haven't had to pay for anything over the last few days. My new flatscreen TV is divine, for the record.

So, anway, there you have it; never say I'm not willing to help every now and then, hm? Compared to most everyone else, you got off lucky. Stop whining. Ciao, boys and girls.

[click!]

057: In Which This Is Just a Test [video]

[the feed opens on... well, Eris, sitting in an office that, due to the framed covers of celebrities with captions like "Brad and Angelina: what he's not telling her!", presumably belongs to the main magazine she writes for. Her hair is slightly mussed up. I wonder why!]

Okay, boys and girls, this shouldn't take long but I should probably confirm this hunch. So, simple question; how do I look?

056: In Which Let's Hear It For New York

Already I've had ten guys try to sell me bootlegged Inception DVDs. There may be a lot of specific things that I don't miss about NYC, but by and large it took a month away from it to remind me how much I enjoy it on the whole.

Anyway, some guys from the paper are throwing a party for me over in the Bowery tonight. One or two of you are definitely invited, the rest of you should use proper judgement. If you want a hint, feel free to ask.

055: In Which the Rampage Has Subsided

Was it good for you too?

[Filter: Philotes]

If you want me to buy you something while I'm out here, let me know. No clue when I would actually be able to give it to you, of course, because Greece is... well, they're really sort of celebrating me right now, whether they realize it or not.
[the video recording opens up with a shot of what looks to be a burning building in a small town. The screeching of a car alarm provides the soundtrack as Eris turns the camera around to focus on herself. Her hair is unkempt, her lower lip is busted open, she's wearing a camo jacket + tank top + jeans combo that looks like it was picked out in a thrift store (and it was!), and she is absolutely glowing.]

I love small towns, because there's always a pub. And at that teeming pub you can find everyone who's anyone, all gathered around. And in small towns, all of these people, well, they've known everyone else all their lives! A lifetime's worth of petty jealousies, half-truths, affairs...

And all I had to do was ask questions. Politely, of course; I'm an out of towner, and I'm ever so charming and inquisitive. Question after question after question, phrased so exquisitely that they'd answer, and frequently say more than they really meant to say.

Then, of course, it started getting uncomfortable. You can only be honest for so long in that kind of situation before some very, very unpleasant truths start seeping out, and oh, the escalation! The rising conflict! The heated, heated conversations... mm. Needless to say, eventually fists started flying, everyone blaming each other for everything. It was an amazing brawl, really, one of those ones where if you're in the vicinity you really have no choice to participate and I haven't thrown fists like that in so long... and it's really just kept escalating from there.

[a beat. She looks away from the camera at the town for a moment and then bursts into a giggling fit that she tries to suppress by covering her mouth with her hand before continuing.]

... and I don't even know how the fire started. It's striking, though, isn't it? Anyway. I know you kids are angry. Not at this so much, but in general. I'm angry too. So fucking channel it. Break something. Reach out and punch someone. You'll feel so much better once you do it, and besides, it's not your fault, is it? It's Cronus'. You're just a victim of a higher power. Now me, I've got miles to go before I sleep. But feel free to drop me a line, complex. Let's have a heart-to-heart about what's really getting you down, hm? Ciao!

[she blows a kiss at the camera before moving to press a button on it. Click.]

((... so if you talk to her unless you're a sibling there's decent odds of being on the receiving end of her Power of Persuasion flair, fair warning. Eris loves playing devil-on-your-shoulder.))

053: In Which That's Enough of That

Fuck this shit, I'm going to Greece.

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She's going to smile
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Amelie Andopolis, Ace Reporter ♥ Eris

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